How my sarcasm masters timing in the markets

Dear Investor or trader or however you want to call your self,

So, everyone's got their eyes glued to the Magnificent 7's next magic trick to propel the market even higher. ✨ Because, clearly, that's the only thing that matters, right? Never mind those pesky GDP numbers whispering "recession" in our ears, or the housing market acting like it's stuck in quicksand, patiently waiting for the "big one" to hit. 🏠📉

Oh, and let's not forget how life's getting delightfully pricier everywhere while Americans are having a bit of a hiccup with credit card payments (just a minor detail!), but don't fret, Uncle Sam will probably just wave a magic wand and poof! Debt, gone. And maybe throw in a few more cheques for good measure. Because why not? 💸🎁

Imagine that Americans work 18 billion hours a year all together to just service the interest of their debts…but who counts? The funny part is that consumer spending makes up around 70% of US gdp… just boring numbers to show off…right? 🤓

The US national debt? Pffft. That's just a number that's clearly destined for infinite growth. Soon enough, we'll all be "Japanified" and loving every minute of it, I'm sure.

Look Uncle Sam below, looks promising 💩 🥕

🇯🇵💰 Our collective hopes and dreams are now firmly strapped to AI and booming productivity, ready to swoop in and save us all. Everyone sells it everywhere. Fingers crossed, right? 🤖🦸‍♂️

And the geopolitical landscape? Oh, it's just "interesting" and "a bit worrying" in spots. But no biggie, everything will totally sort itself out. No WW3, no siree! Even Kim's taken a break from pressing the fun buttons. 🧘‍♂️🌍

Maybe it’s the forth turning…you know this period in history that all the social and economic infrastructure and status quo changes? Anyhow….theories theories….it’s for historians and teachers…not for us…the risk takers 😛

You know what genuinely keeps me up at night amidst all this wonderfully stable chaos?

Absolutely nothing.

Yup, you read that right. And that's the real problem. Who is the Bad-ass? 😎

Meanwhile, the truly "brilliant" CEOs and Investors (you know, the ones who don't have to justify monthly performance reports) are quietly selling shares and hoarding cash like it's going out of style. 💼💰 And dear old Buffet? He's sitting on a cash mountain so high, it's practically a new global landmark. He's usually only a year late to the party when he pulls this move...and he has from the end of 24…so, you know, plenty of time. 🕰️

Zooming out on market movements in the chart, one can't help but feel we're observing a sophisticated simulation.

It's truly a marvel! Everything else is gracefully flatlining or, you know, just dying, while Bitcoin remains the undisputed king of the hill. All the money, the hopes, the dreams – straight into the big orange coin. 👑💰 And speaking of kings, enter our modern-day crypto oracle, Mr. Saylor! He's just so enamored with this digital tulip that he and his company have become a charming little single point of failure for the entire asset. What could possibly go wrong when one man holds all our collective aspirations for financial freedom? He’s clearly thought of everything, right? Genius! We've officially bestowed upon him the hero cape, so let's just sit back and let him pilot us to the moon. 🚀✨

But wait, hold your horses (or your digital horses, rather)! My crystal ball, I mean, my MVRV Z-Score indicator, is making some rather interesting shapes around 2.37. Now, historically (and by "historically," I mean in its vast 14-year existence), it needs to hit around 8 before we can even whisper the word "top." So, clearly, we're miles away from any concern. And don't even get me started on the Pi Cycle Top Indicator – it practically screams "all clear, mate!" since it hasn't even sniffed the 350DMA yet. Nothing to see here, folks! 🚦

And, of course, every conversation invariably veers to the mystical "Trump will make crypto rally, just wait!" mantra. Oh, I've been waiting. Since January, actually. And look how that's turned out. 👀 But because you've already committed your life savings to this rollercoaster, you're undoubtedly armed with another obscure indicator, or some "wallet flow" chart, or a YouTuber's "expert lesson" that's "100% accurate" and guarantees we're all becoming crypto millionaires. Don't even try to sell me that digital snake oil. 🐍💰

Look, I'm knee-deep in this beautiful mess myself. Big time. But I've had just about enough of the incessant overselling on YouTube, the endless "potential" speeches, and the relentless chorus of "we're all gonna be rich!" I'm officially declaring myself allergic to crypto-bro BS. 🤢

So, tell me, what wildly optimistic, absolutely foolproof reason are you clinging to this week? I'm all ears (and eye-rolls). 😉

Yep, this article came to an end finally and I (hope or not) that it will make you a bit sceptical..

Good luck Pal and don’t forget to subscribe to Investorean

Until Next Time

Tzanis Koronaios